I think I remember this scene from Indiana Jones...

Not all too long ago in game land the sequels to two giants in the FPS genre were released (FPS in this case refers to First Person Shooter and not Frames Per Second, although that too is relevant for games). Of course I’m talking about Battlefield 3 and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, if you don’t know what those are you might want to stop reading now. Woops, looks like we’ve lost quite a few brave souls there. For all of you who are still reading: gather round, grab a chair, a beverage and get comfortable. Like all scenarios which involve an either/or choice, chances are that you have a favourite of the two. In which case you belong to the largest group of FPS gamers, the smaller groups involve those who like both games in equal measure or simply don’t care either way. Excellent, now that we’ve got everybody segregated we can continue on our merry way!

26 deaths, 1 kill, that must be a new record for my co-worker nexus-6

The Battlefield and Call of Duty franchise have been around for quite some time now and while there have always been differences between the two, they have always tried to be the best FPS game out there. They both tried to beat the other by competing for the best graphics, story, soundtrack, sound effects, you name it. Sadly, in the last iteration, the Call of Duty franchise has dropped the ball in the visual department and Battlefield 3 wins hands down when it comes to graphical prowess. For ye lesser mortals who play Battlefield 3 on a console, I’m sorry but you got a toned down version as your hardware just can’t handle the amount of graphical awesomeness Battlefield 3 displays. On a decent gaming rig BF3 is the dog’s bollocks!

So what does MW3 bring to the table if it’s already graphically inferior. Well for one the single player campaign wraps up the

Wait for it, Megatron is about to pop out the water here!

story arc which was started several games ago, if you want to know what happens to Soap and co. you most definitely need to play it. Coupled with the fact that every Call of Duty campaign is an action packed adrenaline ride which hardly gives you time to breath, it should provide a few hours of entertainment. Seriously though, playing the single player campaign makes you feel as if you are starring in a Michael Bay action flick, you’ve got explosions everywhere, tons of military hardware and heroic moments galore. The only thing that’s missing is the super slow motion shot of the amazingly hot chick in impractical, yet very sexy clothes. Maybe Sassibob can help us out there! I for one would love to see a video of her walking through a field of exploding iPhones and iPads while only wearing… but I digress! Suffice to say, the single player campaign should be keep you moderately entertained. But let’s face it, no one really buys these games for the single player thrills.

E-peen scores are great for morale!

Yes that’s right, it’s all about the m-m-m-m-multi-player! And for me that’s where MW3 starts shining, because it has a well polished multi-player experience. The term “Don’t change a winning formula” springs to mind as it really applies to this game. MW3 builds on the features gamers loved in MW2 (kill streaks, unlocks, character and weapon levelling) and adds some more. It’s far from creative, but it works and makes for a great experience. Sure, MW3 misses out on the vehicles combat and the hyper realistic physics which BF3 brings to the table, but I honestly don’t mind. I prefer the fast pace of MW3 matches and absolutely abhor the fixed spawn points in BF3. Also the compulsory Origin launcher which EA dumped in BF3 was my sworn enemy from day one, starting a game from a stupid webpage is just bloody annoying… And that’s where you’ll sink most of your game hours in, playing against other folks, cursing your competitors, hardware and internet connection. Because seriously, NO ONE CAN FIRE THAT F*CKING FAST, THEY MUST BE HACKING! Ah yes, game rage is an integral part of online gaming.

But what can I do when even multi-player gets boring I hear some of you ask, well fear not. Here are some of my personal tips which will guarantee several more hours of on-line gaming fun!

  • Role-play!When playing as the Africa Militia in MW3 I empty at least one full clip into the air for realism’s sake. Shooting

    Take that sky! I shoot you with my gold-plated pimp gun!

    erratically and wasting large amounts of bullets on my enemies naturally adds to my immersion. When playing as the Russians you might consider getting mildly intoxicated on vodka or something along those lines, be creative!

  • Converse! The in-game lobbies (and matches themselves) are a great way to get to know people from all over the world and learn new languages, especially colourful phrases! It’s truly amazing how many mothers get insulted in the MW3 lobbies or how many diseases  are wished upon other players. Not sure where to start? One of my co-workers often plays random South Park sound bites to get the discussion going, it’s very effective.
  • Tease! You game to have a good time, screw the rest of the random people you are playing with, look after number one! Got an annoying team member? Help him die, a lot! Got a pesky enemy? Lie in wait and kill him several times in a row, you may even tea-bag his corpse for good measure of course. Oh and playing in game grammar/spelling Nazi is also tons of fun, mind you don’t screw up yourself though!
  • Be creative! Your tag is your in-game identity, make sure it’s one your enemies remember! Getting killed by EliteSoldier12 isn’t any fun at all and won’t get your enemies quaking in your boots, getting killed by The Purple Dildo of Doom is a whole other story! Incidentally getting a noob player to join your party who dies in hilariously often is great fun too!

Just trying out some new tags, nothing to see here.

And that’s about it. If you weren’t a big fan of MW3 before you started reading this, chances are…..  you still aren’t. But that’s okay! No really, I won’t take it personally, I won’t do my utmost to find you place of residence. And I definitely won’t show up one dark night and flash-bang you while you’re sleeping before I finish you off with my SCAR-L and tactical knife… No really we’re all friends here.